It was early, early morning and we were driving on the wrong side of the road. (Well technically it wasn’t the wrong side as we were driving in the US, but it was all wrong for us!) I was feeling that kind of tired when your head hurts and you can’t imagine how you’ll possibly keep your eyes open for a second longer. My shoulders ached from carrying luggage and i was hungry and not hungry both at the same time. That kind of weird digestive limbo after a long flight. Your body has no clue when it’s supposed to be hungry and you’ve eaten crappy plane food for far too many hours. I glanced across at my husband who looked just as tired and broken. Just then, a song came on the radio. "Good morning, beautiful, how was your night? Mine was just wonderful with you by my side And when I open my eyes to see your sweet face It's a good morning, beautiful day I couldn't see the light, I didn't know day from night I had no reason to care Well, since you've came along, I can face the dawn 'Cause I know, you'll be there" It was a country record I’d never heard before but somehow it was just perfect. We caught each other’s eye, and the pure cheesiness made us both smile. Have you ever had that moment? When the perfect song or experience happens just at the right time? Lifting your spirits and making you feel a little bit less alone in whatever experience you’re having.
Finding the perfect accompaniment
Sometimes of course it can be the opposite experience. Leaving you feeling more isolated and out of sync with the world around you. What’s good to know is that you can influence whether life feels in harmony or not. It comes down to a mental decision about how to think about what’s happening: is the universe on my side? Or is everything pitched against me? So is good luck just a fluke or is it what will always come eventually? Does bad luck become your default or do you stay open to find the lessons in whatever happens?
How to tip the odds
There’s a few things you can do to bring more flow and connection in your life. Here’s 4 simple shifts you can make to change how you experience both the good and the bad: 1: Choose your filter We have a natural negativity bias as humans. It’s built into our evolutionary inheritance. It made it much more likely that I would survive as an early human if I assumed the long thin shape in the grass was a snake than if I looked on the bright side and figured it was probably a stick. What that means is that looking for the positive is a choice we have to make every day. The good news is that the more you look for the good, the easier it becomes. Our brains like to look for patterns and when you practice positivity, especially with a gratitude practice, you start to look out for more. And where you attention goes, that’s what you get more of! 2. Stay aware To notice the good amongst the inevitable shit show that life can bring, you need to be open and curious. If I get used to sticking my head down and my bum up to get through, the chances are I’ll miss the opportunities that show up. Practicing mindfulness is a great way to build your muscle for awareness. That could be a formal meditation practice where you learn to focus and find clarity. Or it could simply be a choice to spend time in your day being really present. When in your day could you make time to be aware on purpose, so you get out of autopilot? 3. Accept help and support In the modern world, we can get conditioned to think we have to do it all on our own. It can make you feel like you’re supposed to be strong, focused and productive all the time. And if you’re not then there must be something wrong with you - so you better hide it! In reality, we are deeply social creatures. We’re designed to work collaboratively and seek support from each other. When you show vulnerability and admit it’s hard, you give other people permission to do the same. If you want your experience of life to have more flow and ease, it actually comes from admitting when it’s not working that way. That’s what opens the door for change. 4. Let go of expectation Ever spend your day feeling really frustrated with how things are going? Other people aren’t doing things the way they should, things feel unfair and it should be different… Often we can get caught up in how it "should" be and it gets in the way of being with what is. Can you practice letting go of demanding that life be a certain way so you can find the simple beauty of how it actually is?
Find the perfect toolkit
I know how hard it can be to keep your mindset positive and calm. Especially when you’re buffeted by life pressures and overwhelmed. That’s why I’ve created meditation toolkits to help you to deal with whatever you’re facing. You can think of it like the meditation equivalent of the perfect song coming on the radio! You can check out the toolkits here, and you can even book a session with me and have a toolkit designed especially for you and your unique situation. Let me know what you think….what toolkit do you need today?
Laura @ Be. x
p.s. - 10 years later, my husband surprised me on our wedding anniversary by finding that song and playing it for me as I woke up!